Book Review: “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World”

I was given this book as a present just before I came to Tilsley College and have found it one of the most helpful and insightful books with regard to a growing relationship with Jesus. If you can forgive the ‘americanisms’ (sorry to any Americans reading this!), it’s well worth a read… twice in fact. (I have a bad memory… I’m now 30, remember).

Book title: Weaver J, 2002, “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World” (Waterbrook Press: Colorado Springs)

Subject: Devotional/Christian life

Summary: This book considers the struggle we often face in our Christian life of addressing the balance between work and worship. Weaver neatly sums up the issue when she states that “we want to worship like Mary, but the Martha inside keeps bossing us around.”[1]

The book centres on the passage in Luke 10:38 – 42 and most specifically around the Lord’s words to Martha, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”[2] The book follows the spiritual transformation of the two sisters, as they learn to balance work and worship and ends in John 11 and 12, with the death and resurrection of Lazarus and Mary anointing the Lord in Bethany.

Review: Weaver introduces us to the dilemma that many of us often find ourselves in – that often our service for the Lord means that we miss out on really getting to know Him. Weaver emphasises that when we have the correct balance, worship will lead to service – “kitchen service will be the natural result of Living Room Intimacy with God.”[3] She explains that “the better part” is open to all of us i.e. that close relationship with the Lord, but that each of us have to make an active choice to cultivate that relationship.

Weaver considers Martha’s plea to the Lord where she says, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?” Weaver addresses what she describes as the “Three Deadly Ds of Destruction”[4] which Satan uses to take our eyes off the Lord and to look inwardly toward ourselves. She states that these are “Distraction, Discouragement and Doubt”.[5] She addresses the issue of how my feelings can clash with what we know of the character of God. Weaver shows us that the Lord wants us to be honest with Him about how we are feeling, just as Martha was, but the key to a transformed heart and growing in the knowledge of the Lord is that we listen to Him. Weaver states, “I love the compassion Jesus has in this story. He saw Martha’s situation. He understood her complaint. But he loved her too much to give her what she wanted. Instead, Jesus gave her what she needed – an invitation to draw close to him.”[6]

Weaver considers what is at the heart of Martha’s problem – “…the curse of anxiety. The on-going burden of worry and fear”[7] and this is something I think we can all relate to. She examines how our worry stems from the fact that we do not believe God to be in control. I liked how Weaver constantly goes to bible passages and links these passages with practical application to help the reader address the problem. In relation to the issue of Martha’s anxiety, Weaver uses Philippians 4, within the context of worry, to emphasise the importance of the role of prayer. She writes of the importance of guarding our hearts and mind from Satan and of the active role we must play, through prayer and bible reading/meditation for “the peace of God” to be ours.

She considers that often our service for the Lord becomes laden with “human agendas and expectations”[8] and that “so often we give God the gift we think he needs rather than take time to find out what he desires.”[9] Weaver uses Matthew 11:28 – 29 to demonstrate that the Lord does not want to give us a heavy load, but that we put these expectations on ourselves, rather the one thing He wants is fellowship with us and from that our service will flow. She accurately sums up how we often feel as Christians about having to earn God’s love through our service: “… somewhere along the way, I had twisted God’s love into something I had to earn… But of course I stumbled again and again. Each time it took me weeks to work up enough spiritual brownie points to feel like I was back on God’s side.”[10]

I found the chapter, on what Weaver describes as “kitchen service”, to be challenging as she uses Jesus as our ultimate example to follow, as well as challenging our willingness to allow the Lord to use us in his plans, rather than asking Him to rubberstamp the service we think we should do for Him. She challenges us to serve wherever we are and reminds the reader that “when we surrender ourselves to be used by God, we don’t always get to pick the time, the method… in fact, sometimes, we may find ourselves doing nothing at all – except praying and waiting for God’s leading.”[11]

LORD AT THE CENTRE

At the centre of the book comes Weaver’s main focus – she explains what it is to have the “better part” and that is to have the Lord at the centre of our lives. Weaver succinctly explains how we can achieve the balance between work and worship – she states, “The secret to balancing worship and work, devotion and service, love of God and love of people is maintaining our connection to Jesus Christ. Our relationship with him is the fulcrum, the anchor, the steadying point… and the deeper that relationship goes, the more stable the balance will be.”[12]

Time and time again Weaver emphasises the recurrent themes of prayer, bible reading, journaling and persevering at those things as an act of my will, as the key to “Jesus Christ becom[ing] the steady balance in our life of constant motion.”[13] Weaver states that “the story of Mary and Martha was never meant to be a psychological profile… in which we choose the character with whom we most identify. This is the story of two different responses to one singular occasion. In it, we should find not our personality type, but the kind of heart Christ longs for us to have.”[14] And how do we keep the Lord at the centre of our lives? I loved how Weaver did not in any way give the reader any impression that there was any shortcut to what she describes as “living room intimacy” with the Lord. She states that “the formula for intimacy with God remains the same todays as it has always been:

PRAYER + the WORD + TIME = INTIMACY WITH GOD”[15]

Weaver also stresses that we need to keep short accounts with God in order to maintain our relationship with Him – “conscious repentance leads to unconscious holiness”.[16] I was struck by the simplicity of this once again – these are things that I know, but often find so hard to apply.

Weaver emphasises the importance of having this close relationship with the Lord by using the death of Lazarus to explore how in life things don’t always happen the way we expect them. However this is where “living room intimacy” comes in, because in order to trust God in these times, we must know the character of God.

Weaver demonstrates this by using Martha as an example of someone who has a “teachable heart” and whose knowledge of the character of God has increased since her last encounter with Jesus. Her response of, “Yes, Lord… I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was come into the world” (John 11:27) after the death of Lazarus and Jesus tells her that He is the resurrection and the life demonstrates how she has changed. Weaver explains that in order to have a “transformed heart”, we need to have a “teachable heart” – to be willing to listen, to be obedient to what we hear and respond to discipline. If we are not obedient then Jesus will not reveal Himself to us.

We learn that to have a “Mary heart in a Martha world” is not something that happens overnight, but rather “if we want to be like Jesus, we won’t be able to escape the refining process.”[17] We can see this demonstrated in both the lives of Mary and Martha. Martha had to learn to listen to the Lord and Mary anointed the Lord as an act of “extravagant love”[18] – giving her all for Him in an act of service.

Weaver constantly reiterates the same point that the only way we can partake of “the better part” is to spend time with the Lord – there is no magic formula for this, but prayer and bible study. This book would be good to do as a “one-to-one” study as part of a mentoring programme, or as a small group study, as it has great practical tips on maintaining our relationship with the Lord.

This book has helped me see that while, as Paul says in Philippians, “he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion”, I still have a responsibility to play an active role in “work[ing] out my salvation” (Philippians 2:12) and to “walk in the Spirit” (Galatians 5:16) – that comes through spending time with the Lord in prayer and bible reading and letting Him shape my heart to His will, which may be painful at times. However from that “living room intimacy” my service for Him will then flow as an act of worship and not as an obligation.

 

 

 

 

 

[1] Weaver J, “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World”, (Waterbrook Press: Colorado Springs), 2.

[2] Luke 10:42

[3] Ibid. 10

[4] Ibid. 17

[5] Ibid.

[6] Ibid. 28

[7] Ibid. 31

[8] Ibid. 53

[9] Ibid. 56

[10] Ibid. 45

[11] Ibid. 93

[12] Ibid. 190

[13] Ibid. 116

[14] Ibid. 101

[15] Ibid. 77

[16] Ibid. 80 (Oswald Chambers)

[17] Ibid.195

[18] Ibid. 157

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